Confidence

Whether you realize it or not, most everyone that has ever met you has retained a record of that meeting in memory. This memory is ignited by the ever-so-important "first impression", and is subsequently stacked upon by each impression thereafter.

In the real world, we can influence these impressions by using subtle factors, such as a strong and straight posture, the volume and tone of our voice, and eye contact. These are a part of our body language, and with practice and skill can be used to project an attitude of confidence that can win friends, increase chances of promotions and job opportunities, and maybe even get you laid.

But like the sharp-witted reader that I know you are, have probably now realized that I'm not here to talk about the real world. Nay, I'm here to talk about the internet world. You know, the magic place where dreams come true.

Recently, I asked the following question on Facebook:

Do you think that people judge intelligence by appearance? In other words, can professional opportunities be lost because someone isn't tall, young, athletic, or thin?

From that, I received two responses that stuck out for me above the others.

First from Chris J. Davis:

I have found that the most important assest in landing business opportunities is confidence. I have had meetings in shirt and tie, and in t-shirt and jeans. I landed both jobs, because what the client got from me was that I knew what I was talking about.

And the next, from D Keith Robinson:

I think most people do, but don't intend to. However, I also think Chris is right on when he mentions confidence. It think it's less about "figure" and more about how you carry yourself, etc. Of course these things go hand in hand...

These responses are part of the inspiration for writing this article. I want to take this time to flesh out the thoughts and ideas behind how we can project an aura of confidence around us. I write this not only as a way to flesh out and hopefully improve my own knowledge of the subject, but perhaps give you some inspiration into tweaking your own habits.

First, and even subsequent impressions, on the internet can be very much more bipolar than real life because there are so fewer things to base an opinion on. There's no body language. There's no sense of mood or emotion, other than the written word. Those people that are now meeting you online, are now having to make the most appropriate decision on who they think you are, based solely on what information you give them.

The most obvious first-impression on the internet is when someone visits your website. What do you suppose they're thinking after looking at your homepage for :30 seconds? Also, the not so obvious first-impression is when people stumble upon you by comments that you've left on other sites, and even through various social applications, such as: Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, and dozens others. These are like little permanent footprints that track mud all about the web, and people place a very high amount of perception on these little artifacts. Admit it, you've probably judged someone because of one thing they've said somewhere that totally turned you off, right?

I used to say to myself (and others, when asked) "I don't give a shit what people think of me, I know who I am and that's what matters." - but I was wrong. And so are you, if that's what you're telling yourself.

You see, whether you like it or not, to be a professional in any industry, to expect to get those opportunities that you want, to get people to like you - you have to strongly concern yourself with what they perceive you to be. You might not have as much confidence as you think. Or you just might not be ready for that promotion or new career opportunity, if you project an air of immaturity.

Something that I've discovered to be a critical factor in your an presence is diversity. Showcasing a single attitude throughout the extent of wherever you write can swing dangerously into the territory of an extreme opinion of you.

In other words, if you're too serious, show that you have a sense of humor. If you're too much of a critic, try and hand out a few compliments once in awhile. Excersize your command over who you are and don't be afraid to let people know it. Just try and avoid doing the doom-and-gloom when you screw something up, because that's the death-blow to a perception of confidence. People will avoid you like the plague (trust me, I know this as fact).

So as I go about my quest in losing weight and becoming more fit, so shall I also go about tweaking my inner-self, and start showing a stronger sense of who I am and what my intentions are.